Today was good. A few days deep. I would settle for some hand holding action right now. I don't think I care for this disconnect too much. I've been somewhat of a hermit the past day and a half. Yesterday I hid out at home, did things around the apartment. Cleaned, studied, ate. Then towards the evening I participated in the biggest man hating fest I have ever encountered. But it was somewhat comforting. I love my girls. Laura and Cricket were really supportive. We've decided that being boy crazy is a horrible curse.
Today was good with only a slight bump in the road. I keep thinking about the ex, I fucking HATE hurting people. HATE HATE HATE. I tend to put my feelings aside so that everyone else is happy. I'm not doing that this time, and I really need to stop beating myself up. I'll work on that one.
I'm going to take myself a much needed hot bath, and then watch a few of the women empowering movies that Jazzy lent me. Sex scenes much? Haha. I'm a pervert.
I'm insanely full of chicken tikka masala.
And I appreciate the respect someone has been giving me about the 4 month rule. The encouragement seriously means so much to me. I really don't know how many people understand the rationalization process I had to go through for this. I am a boy crazy type of girl, and need to learn how to be just a girl. Or something stupid like that. Overall this is good. I just like cuddling!!!!
Okay, bath, and then Matching Point with Scarlette Johansen.
-CaraMia
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