Learning.

I'm trying to take my time figuring everything out. I'm coming up on one whole month of solitude. I guess I can't really call it solitude, I have a lot of amazing people in my life. I always thought of myself as a good listener, and observer...but lately with this imaginary wall between myself and others--I find myself taking in a bit more than usual when it coms to conversations. I hold on to more, I understand more, and I remember more. Watching people talk when they think you aren't listening, is extremely entertaining. Unfortunately I think I'm becoming a touch more cynical, and finding some sort of sick game out of this. I don't want to become a man hater. I do enjoy their company, but too many people right now are acting as if they are the one that are going to change all of this and make my mind up for me. Heh...

Oh well.

I keep pretty busy these days. Which makes me happy, exhausted...but happy. I am doing well in my one class this term. I had a jam packed week for CaraMia. Casting call, photo shoots, BitterSweethearts and so on to infinity. I've decided I am going to take this upcoming week off. Until the weekend. I start shooting for my calendar this upcoming Saturday. I am also contemplating joining the Pinup Dollies, they are sweet girls. I just don't know if I have enough time to dedicate to the group. We shall see.

Hmm.

Speaking of modeling and such. One of my good friends, of FOREVER. Thought my pictures were hot, and that meant we should go on a date. I'm glad I don't have a bitchin personality, or anything else worth taking out on a date. This really stung. Dottie has been helping me out a lot in this kind of department. Understanding how far my kindness can go while still being professional, and not giving the wrong idea. I contemplate getting rid of CaraMia, and just being Nikki. So there is no confusion. Just a girl that plays dress up :)

Anyways, I guess all of this was a round about way of saying that I am learning to listen. I am happy about this. I guess I didn't pay as much attention to the meaning of things before hand.

Meh.

Nap time. Work time. Sleep time.
Tomorrow is the first day of my week off :)


XOX CARA FUCKING MIA.